hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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