was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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