"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize