if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
