Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
