We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize