I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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