you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I am one with the molecules
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
