i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
