i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
