the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
