"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
