She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
