put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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