Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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