Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
