I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
