how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
