I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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