I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
