Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
