Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
