This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
