I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Randomize
