I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
When did angry sex become our thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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