direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
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Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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