Will you blow on my dice?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
