Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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