I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
