This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
