My hair reeks of homosexuality.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
The adults are the big ones right?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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