At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
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