3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
