how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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