my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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