I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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