Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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