I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I just found puke in my bra..
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
