everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
