In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
