There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
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I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
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Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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