No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
