it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
