Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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