I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize