I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
