Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
