I like my sex mixed with concussions.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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