After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize