if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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