Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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