Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
