no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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