it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Randomize
