just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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