Buhtt sex?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
