I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
