when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
