Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
