I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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