I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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