I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
