This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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