I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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